Bye~~

As some of you might have taken notice of (or maybe even read, even though I’m pretty sure ppl ignore my personal rants XD) I started university at the beginning of this week and now my life pretty much orbits around studying and avoiding the sophomores who constantly tries to get us drunk, lol, life as a freshman is much harder than you think, at least if you live where I live xD So there’s no time left for me to run this kpop-tumblr, sadly. (Though I won’t delete it, I’m to sentimental for that XD)

Thank you all for following me during this past year, through all my weird posts/rants, minor hiatuses and my never ending fangirling, spams and obsessions~^^

11043 likes later, 9825 posts later and 92 followers later; the tumblr Jasminutane is now terminated.

Old selca TT_TT 

Oh however, I’m just gonna rant *cough complain and whine cough* a little bit, ‘cuz university is a bitch and the official classes haven’t even begun yet xD

But it’s SO much information to take in at once ê___ê I don’t even comprehend half of it xD I already have this 2 inch fat pile of papers that I’m supposed to read but common, I barely have time to eat >w<

And our campus is HUUUUGE ;A; I mean there’s about 37k students here so there’s no wonder, but it’s really confusing and I’ve gotten lost multiple of times (doesn’t help that I’m totally alone ‘cuz I suck at making friends either T_T). Today we had this tour around campus and it honestly didn’t help much. Haha, and our tour guide randomly let us off somewhere that was supposed to be in the Nature Sciences Building but…. when I finally managed to get out? I was infront of the physiology building, so then I had to figure out which way that would take me home as well xD

Most annoying thing about university is that everything… well, it surely consumes your time, I haven’t been able to find time to update myself with kpop, listen to new songs or anything like that since I satrted yesterday (so I kind of feel like all life in me is slowly draining away xD)

Oh well, right now (I just got home, alsfhalskf) I need to go through some papers, I probably should take a peak in my social studies book and then I need to get ready ‘cuz we’re having dinner with our “phösare” in an hour ê____ê and then we’re obviously supposed to go to the student union house and hit the groggery (I’m glad I don’t get drunk easily and never get hangovers. ‘Cuz the lessons start at 8:30am tomorrow morning XD)

Oh, and we got these fatass mother fu***** compendiums with a summary of high school mathematics ;A; Obviously, we’re supposed to learn that by ourselvs until out next course (Statistic Methods) starts next month. And they told us to reapeat our high school chemisty as well. fml.

I’m starting to wonder why I even considered to continue studying after high school. xD

Personal rant: I’m not fucking ready.

So, I’m starting university in like… well, 33h AND I’M NOT READY AT ALL ;A; Why did I even sign up for that life trap?!?! I’m gonna major in Enviromental Health or some shit, I dunno, it sounded nice when I applied earlier this year ‘cuz I really like nature and to nag and such.

But my first class is in “Society, Individuals & Enviroment”, which is basically a base course in the society subject for us geeks who studied nature science in high school, like I did.

AND WHY DO YOU THINK I DID THAT?!

‘Cuz I freaking loath that society-shit ;A; aslkfjlaskjflaksf, FML. I DON’T WANNA STUDYYYYYYYYYYYy——!! *shrill scream* ‘cuz face it, me hitting the books is a very rare sight. I didn’t study almost at all during high school ‘cuz.. I dunno, shit was piece a cake?  I’m asian? no, jk, our lectures was interesting; about space, natural selection, and such - and since I listened well during our classes I didn’t have to read that much.

But now I’ll probably have to TT_TT

Wanna know the worst part?

I have an examination in that course in less than a month.

Dafuq.

School hasn’t even started yet.

And I’m already having a mental breakdown.

My eyes are hurting.

Seriourly, I’ve endured 5 days in a row without any sleep and I didn’t take more damage than maybe the usual “zombie state” after staying awake for the first 72 hours ê___ê

Last night (or rather: this morning) I didn’t manage to fall asleep until after 8am, and I had to get up at nine, so no, I didn’t get alot of sleep xD

But why are my eyes hurting so badly? They’re all red and stingy >w< Was it b’cuz of all the fangirl spazzing and flailing over EXO-M and B.A.P and Onew? 

It feels like that’s the cause, for some reason xD

(Oh god, I didn’t sign up for this when I became a fangirl TTwTT)

It’s 05:40 in the morning and I haven’t gone to sleep yet.

Wae?

EXO-M and their Ceci fuckery.

B.A.P and crash and I remember ft. Daehyun and shit.

ONEW’S TEASER PIC FOR DAZZLING GIRL, ASFLKASFAS.

Stupid fangirl feels, go away TT__TT I have to get up in 3 hours xD

Yeah I know, I look like some kind of a small, furry mammal xD However I went to the dentist today and I had a NEW dentist, obviously Ôuó She didn’t know a shit about me so she kept asking me questions that I honestly thought she wouldn’t have to ê__ê (Like if I still had cancer and was getting chemotherapy… I don’t look very bald or sick, do I? =w=” xD)

 However, the most hilarious part was when she asked me how old I was.
Le dentist: How old are you? You look like you just began High school.
Her nurse: 15? 16?
Me: Excuse you bitch, I’m turning 20 in less than 6 months and High School?!?! Seriously?! I’m entering the fucking university of Umeå next week, motherfucker. ….I’m 19. xD

I know I look kind of young (I’m asian so it’s in my genes, lol), but taking me for a high school kid? It felt like an insult ‘cuz they were looking at me like I was 5…. xD 

Personal rant: What is wrong with you people?

I’m used to my dash being filled with 90% EXO (ever since that fuckin’g group debuted every single shawol-tumblr I used to stalk converted) and maybe some pretty pictures of food, animals and other things that’s nice.

But today?

Why is everyone so emo? I mean, it’s wednesday, right? xD No but seriously, half of the tumblrs that I follow and that actually are active (like.. only 10 of them) have been posting these “I’m so ugly, I will die alone” and pictures of… well, yeah, shit like death, blood, razors and other stuff that kind of affects you. Seriously guise, stop it or you’ll make me despressed as well.

Random, but recently I’ve been thinking about “depression” in an objective, Jasminutane-ish and rather realistic way (if I may say so). This psycho shit all shrinks always go on about… I’ve heard it SO MANY TIMES (‘cuz IRL every singe one of my friends has been diagnosed with depression or some other mood changing disorder and is reguarly visiting a shrink. Lucky me I don’t have very many friends then or have been affected.) so I’m kind of tired of it, and I’m starting to think in new ways.

I’d rather belive in science and things that you can explain in a logical way, so I guess that’s why I’m starting to doubt psycology (even though I aced my psycology course in high school, lol). I mean, seen from an antropologic/biologic/evolutionary perspective; the meaning of life is pretty much to enhance and pass along your genes.

That’s why we’re naturally surviving due to something called The Natural Selection. It’s a necessary subprocess in evolution, and it’s thanks to that we’ve come so far today.

And I don’t think a bed/weak psyche is a very good gene to pass along. I know you feel like “it’s just the way it is”, but seriously, everything has a beginning, everythig has roots. I mean, I’m socially awkward and can’t conversate normally with people, but I’m not blaming that on myself or “that just how I am”, that’s because I was raised in the woods(omfg, lol), had another etnicity than my other calssmates and naturally became an outcast and someone you could throw crap on without giving a shit.

But I’m not complaining, I just endured the shit and tried to improve myself, and now things aren’t that bad (everything can always get worse, so you should always be thankful it isn’t xD)~ Sure, I’m still awkward and weird, and it DID affect me, but hey? It’s life. Shit happens, but life goes on, unconditionally. If you’re gonna stay stuck in a difficult position then you only have YOURSELF to blame.

You know what I really dislike? Even more than prestige-depressed posts on facebook? All these “reblog this video of this suicidal girl, or else she’ll kill herself”. Okay? It’s not that I don’t care, I just respect her choices in life. Sure, maybe they aren’t that great but it’s her decision and I shouldn’t butt in. If the girl wanna commit suicide then let her. It’s her fucking life, her fucking responsibility, her fuck lack of selfrespect and if she wanna waste her life so easily then I don’t wanna be a part of it. (Again; Natural slection - the weakest die first.)

So yeah, if you can’t help yourself then who will? If you can’t love yourself, then who will? I sure as hell won’t, so you better get your shit together. I’m not saying that I hate depressed people (I sound like such a bitch rite nao, omg), only that things will get better if you at least try. And even if it doesn’t end the way you want, at least you tried. I’m sure you’d rather die with the regret of having tried, than with regret of not even giving it an attempt. :)

Okay, I have no idea what I just wrote, my fingers just typed along with the flow of my stupid thoughts xD 

Sorry, I lied xD (not intentionally though)

I said I would be back and everything THIS night, but I lost track of time (you guise have seriously no idea how long it takes for me to eat dinner xD Didn’t finish my quorn  beef and rice until 8pm ê__ê Yup, I’m a really slow eater, haha xD) and then I got kinda stuck watching Bones - lol, I’ve watched 2 seasons in 3 days, is that even healthy? XD

Oh well, but at 1:30am I was like “woho, it’s tumblr time!” but then this thing came up and I had to take care of it immediately and I didn’t finish until now, 3am TT_TT” (Yeah… things comes up during that time in the day night in my “life” xD) Sooo… I’ll be tomorrow instead ^^ Hahahaha, oh god, I have soooo much dash to scroll though… xDD

Follow up to the battleship-rant!

asflaksflgasfgasf, GUIIIIIIIIIIISE!!!! I CAME TO THINK ABOUT ONE THING ( … I don’t think anyone actually reads these, haha, but whatever)!!! O____________O *le Kyungsoo face*

Previously, due to my movie-confusion, I said to all the asian guise on my dash - which wre like 95% EXO - that I wondered if they were joinin’ japan and the US aganist the aliens ê__ê But then I realized that MAYBE the aliens in the movie could’ve been like the ancestors to EXO (or B.A.P - lol, too much alien-concept brainwashing shit goin’ on, haha, I’m watching u TS & SM xD)!!!!

I’m all up for crazy conspiracy and fantasies, so from now on I’m going to watch this movie and pretend that these bamf-aliens are far away relatives to Suho, Kris and their kids XD God, suddenly this movie became ten times much more fun to watch, lol 8DD (Nope, I dunno either what’s wrong with my brainXD)

Random note, but I feel like such I geek when I actually understand what the NASA-guys in the movie are talking about when they mention things like the Goldie lock zone or Gliese xD I srsly made a big rant ‘bout this in my swedish blog when EXO’s first teaser came, ‘cuz at the same time - a new friggin’ exo planet was found by the NASA… like srsly, it was such a coincidence, haha XD

Personal rant: Battleship

So right now I’m watching this movie Battleship (2012) - yes, I know I watch a lot of movies, but I don’t have a life, so what other choices do I have? XD

Anyway; it’s reaaaaally good, and intense as fvck ê___ê *stares suspciously at the screen* It is pretty much like any other Earth vs. Aliens slash doomsday movie, except that it has a gret plot, great actors and some pretty badass hardcore specialeffects! ÔuÔ

The aliens isn’t that scary lookin’ either, but they’re fvcking einstein eery single one of them, it’s like the decepticons but with intelligence XD (Lol, actually, it is the producers of the Transformers movies that has made this movie, that’s why I’m watching it in the first place XD) Haha, like ten minutes into the movie I was all like;

I’ve only watched like half of the movie so far, but I had to take a pause ‘cuz I don’t want it to end already XD Lol, I’m so in love with this movie, hahaha, 2 hours ago I was just fine, except that my vagina feels hurt a bit to all the awesomeness from my SuJu- and EXO-fied dash, but now during the break I was like… “who the hell are all these asians mother fvckers on my dash? Are they gonna join Japan and fight against the aliens too?” XD

God, I’m so into this movie XD Gotta keep watchin, bbyeong~! ^^

Personal rant: Red State

Yup, some other movie thoughts xD

So yeah, I obviously just finished watching this movie called Red State and even though I probably wouldn’t want to watch it again, it was a good movie. At first you might think it is an attack against all christians, but it really isn’t. In fact, the movie was written and directed by a christian who wanted to show the reality of some extreme sects within the religion.

I usually don’t have any problem with religious people ‘cuz I truly am an openminded person and I like to see things in different angels and aspects. I know my sarcasm and brute jokes make me sound kind of mean and harsh, but that’s just my attitude problems XD

I already know that there are some religious sects that is so against, for example, homosexuality (lol, they wouldn’t survive this week in stockholm then xD) that they don’t even try to hide it. Sure I give them creds for stand up for their believes, but that doesn’t give them the right to offend, violate and kill.

They proclaim they are doing god a favor by getting rid of this “sickness”, but no matter how you see it; murder is still murder. And there isn’t a single thing right about that. What the hell happened to “you shall not murder”? When the guy in the movie talked about how wrong it is for guys to perform genital exercises with each other I almost laughed. I mean, why the hell do you think the guy’s prostata was placed so conveniently? xD *shrugs*

This same extreme guy also talked about how God was punishing us for our dirty deeds by sending us all upon all these nature catastrophies (did I spell it wrong or…? I dunno, I rarely use english these days so xD </3). Well… I beg to differ; ‘cuz when they always try to convince us that God loves us all - wouldn’t he save us instead? I mean, if that is God’s punishment, why the hell do we see people like Fritzl and Hitler as the worlds scumbags? I’m pretty sure God has killed plenty more than Hitler did and God i far more perverted than Fritzl. (Oh god, I going to gain so much hate due to this post XD I’m not saying that Fritzl and Hitler were some kind of saints, I’m just trying to make a point that in the bigger picture… okay, I clearly have no idea what I’m talking about XD)

Oh well, back to the topic; Tbfh, if now God loves us so damn much, why aren’t we living in the paradise? why didn’t he forgive Eva at the very beginning?

Nowdays, people say we don’t care enough, that society is falling apart due to that. But do you know what? I think the opposite, that we care too much. Or, if I put it in another way; we tend to care too much about things that we shouldn’t care about. Like those jerks who hates homosexuals. God damnit, if you don’t like it then don’t care about it. It’s one less thing for you to go and whine about, and one less person for the homosexuals to take shit from. So mind your own business and we can all live in peace and happiness. Wouldn’t it be so much more simple and nicer that way?

(I feel bad for all kpop:ers who has to put up with myc stupid rants xD)

Personal rant: And the gold goes to…

aslfkajlskfhaskhfasfgasd, i’m so ridiciously emotional rite now thanks to the olympic games, asaslkfjas, Im not even interested in sports and stuff, but the US just won gold in that acrobatic thingy and they were all so happy that I just couldn’t stop my tears ‘cuz I was so happy for them, I mean just imagine how it would feel to win something like that and alsfhalkshfa, my feels ;w; I had just stopped crying after Russia fell and now… ugh, I don’t even know TT__________TT I’m so silly (or just really bored who got so into it XD)

Personal rant: The Fourth Kind (alien abduction)

So I just finished wathing that movie I ranted about an hour ago. It was definitely a “horror-movie”, but it kinda went beyond the horror genre and took it to a whole knew level. (a.k.a. the psychological level XD)

I mean seriously, it’s been quite a while since I saw a movie that made me think so hard, so much and… so wide, nonth less! As I said earlier as well, the main theme of the movie was alien abduction and the believe that there is somthing unknown out there that we humans only can suspect and spectaculate about as far as we know today.

And as I said as well; there is no God. (I know I sound harsh but I’m an atheist by heart, things you can’t explain our put a logical reason to just doesn’t make sense to me. Therefor - I do not believe in God.)

BUT. The movie made me think what WHAT IF, there’s a connection between everything, everything we belive in - may it be aliens or God. I’ve had a lot of stupid theories through my nineteen years on earth and this might be the most ridicioulus one as far, but it just popped into my mind while watching the movie XD (I’m so easy to manipulate, oh gosh.)

I came to think that since we clearly aren’t created by God, what if we’re just an experiment? One of the most famous theories to the evolutionairy theory is the panspermia theory; which bascially says that the first living organisms came from outer space, and then came to survive on earth while slowly evolving to adapt to life here and as the earth changed.

What if THAT wasn’t just a random coincidence? Maybe it was all planned, as an experiment by what we call extra terrestrial life? And maybe that ET life is what some of us asumes to be God or aliens? Like, maybe Jesus was actually an alien (that would actually make sense regarding the things christians claims him to have accomplished) that just came to earth to check up on us/his people’s experiment? Maybe each time an UFO observation is called in, it actually is them observing us?

As each day pass us by, and we all grow older, I’m pretty sure we’ve all wondered how it all fits together, what our existences are and why they are. It’s our own choice to believe in the stuff we do, ‘cuz without anything to go on, I honestly think we’d all go insane. Is it because of God? Is it just a coincidence? Were we just meant to pay off Eva & Adam’s sins? Or are we simply an experiment for somthing bigger than our minds would understand?

All I know is that I have no idea what I just wrote and I’m going to run and hide in a corner now. Bye XD (Why haven’t I been put in a mental ward or sold away as a freak to some travelling circus yet?)

Personal rant: The Fourth Kind

I’m watching this movie called the Fourth Kind rn. It’s kinda weird and doesn’t really make any sense (yet), but it’s creepy as hell and I’m still wondering how I’m going to survive this shit xD

It’s like a sci fi-horror-ish documentary or smth like dat. It’s about alien abduction, but not the usual “UFO-lightbeaming-you-into-their-ship-for-a-century”-kind of thing. It’s something more into it, it’s scary as fvck and honestly I don’t think I can handle it XD

Lol, but do you guise know what the worst part is? That this kind of things is “happening” in real life, or at least there is people who claim so. I don’t know really, but according to me it’s god damn more realistic that there is unknown life out there somewhere, than there’s a God watching over us. (‘cuz if there was a god, then we wouldn’t have crocs.)